Criticism

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Tips for how to deal with criticism effectively.

The following is a transcript of His Holiness Younus AlGohar’ s speech. His Holiness is the Official Representative of Lord Ra Riaz.

Luxury is not just of one type. Some people suffer from luxurious liberties. It could happen when you do something bad and nobody pinpoints it because they are frightened of you. They would say one word to you and you would retaliate in such a strong way that you shut them all up. When you realise, ‘I’ve done this and nobody has retaliated,’ you want to do it again. Next time you want to do it, you do it more ferociously. This is luxury; this is indulgence. With your behaviour, you tell people, ‘Do not criticise me.’ You don’t say it, but this is how you behave. You do not want people to criticise you even for your own good.

If you are able to take criticism, you are good. For a common person, it is not possible to take criticism positively.

The moment people criticise someone, they will think, ‘That person is jealous of me.’ If you criticise people for a positive reason, it means you want them to reform themselves. But if you do it for some other negative reasons, such as to insult and defame them publicly, then that is different. [Either way], people do not like those who criticise them for any reason.

As a spiritual person, if you see somebody criticising you for a valid reason and this criticism is positive, then you should be patient enough for you own goodness to look into that criticism and reprimand yourself. Repair your actions.

There are many who will criticise you out of jealously or out of any contempt for you. It is very easy to criticise others. It is the most favourite pastime of everybody in this world.

When you tell them, ‘What you are doing is not good,’

They will retaliate and say, ‘Oh like you’re good! Look at yourself – what did you do?’

It means, ‘Please do not correct me. I do not want to correct myself.’

If you tell someone, ‘This path that you are embarked on will lead you to hellfire and that [other] path is good and verified,’ he will reply, ‘Okay, let me go to hell and you go to paradise.’

This means that person has closed doors of guidance on himself.

If somebody wants to give you a piece of advice and you turn a deaf ear on it, it simply means you are gone. You are thousands of miles away from God.

If somebody criticises you and you know this criticism is just a waste of time and it is out of jealously, even then you should look into yourself and see whether you suffer from what has been publicised among people.

For example, if people say, ‘You are very rude,’

Don’t dismiss it straight away. Look into yourself and see if you really are rude.

Take a moment, reflect on it and see whether or not it is true. If it true then you should be really obliged to feel gratitude to the person who criticised you. He pointed out some flaw in you, as a result of which you have removed that flaw and have become even better, purer. After you have gone through all your behaviour and character and you find out that the criticism was just out of jealousy, you should forgive such people. As a spiritual man you should not criticise others, but when other criticise you, you should take it seriously.

If a flaw is detected in you, then remove that flaw and thank the person who criticised you.

Criticising others for no reason is pathetic – and some people enjoy it. They say something about somebody which is not true. When people think badly about that person after this criticism, they feel happy, like they are destroying his personality. Such people are the complete personification of the devil. They feel happiness when they hurt others.

Criticism is a very volatile thing. It is very sensitive.

If you must criticise somebody because it is in their best interest and it is positive, then criticise them in private. Try not to create a scene with it.

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